A Quickie...

Just to lighten up that gloomy cloud that I cast with my last post... lucky for me, it was all just PMS (should've known!), but boy, was it tough going physically for a good few days! Yesterday, I cut my 6km tempo run into two 3km tempo intervals, just so I could make it through.

I'm close to the end of my first 'chunk' of Marathon training - by the week's finish, I would have done 3 weeks of incremental work that will see me finishing my longest run yet at around 25km. I'm looking forward to the coming week - I sense that my body and mind have strengthened and grown through this phase, so next week will be an opportunity to feel 'my new being'.

PMS or not, I am treading respectfully on virgin ground as I move further along this training program. I am glad and thankful that I am in marathon training... in awe, almost, of the fact - who would have ever known??
And I am mindful too, that there will only ever be 1 first marathon for me. This journey is nothing short of a gift.

A really hard day...

Today, 42.2km is like a Himalayan summit entirely shrouded in cloud. I simply can not see it, nor do I imagine that I have it in me to get up there.

Today, I barely made it to base camp... and it was a battle.

At points, I wanted to stop and hit my legs in frustration. I was tired, sore, fed up of the damn hills that make up a good part of my long run. My legs were cursing at me, I was mentally throwing a few uncensored swear words back.

In moments of lucidity, I still had it in me to chant, "Go away, go away, my limiting thoughts... I love you still, I do, my poor body-in-training". Pitying my body helped with the blame/anger game going on.

I cannot say that I feel "better" for having completed my planned Long Run today. Oddly and disappointingly, I feel neither proud nor relieved nor satisfied. I edged ahead with the longest run I have ever done - somewhere between 21-23km (Garmin-Running Ahead), completed in 2:42+ (I don't know exactly how long I ran because I stopped my watch a few times to walk and forgot to restart it 2 times, so I 'lost' some time and mileage there).

Perhaps tomorrow, I shall be glad.... for now, I'm just looking forward to a good night's sleep. Who'd have know it could be so hard?

Anyone there?

I hesitated today before writing here. Let's face it... I had a grand total of 5 pages view yesterday, out of which 2 might have been my own.

Does it matter... what I write? If I write? If I believe? If I care?

Why spend time on this?

I have this picture of myself shouting words into a dark abyss... except it's funny rather than purely tragic :)

Then I realise that it doesn't really matter. And yet it does, except that I do not need to know if it does. Everything little thing that we do (or do not do) sends tiny ripples out into the world, perceptible to some but unfelt by many others. Our calling is to heed our inner urgings to do what is true to our own goodness, and then to let the world do its own thing with what is sent out there. It is not a popularity contest or a competition to win over the blogosphere. And the world is so much bigger, more mysterious and more wonderful than I can imagine in my little head.

Our lives are only small if we believe them to be, writes Teri at (Long) Road to Paradise. There is this paradoxical balance - having faith in how much beauty you bring to the world, and yet not being wrapped up in just how important you are... trusting the world to take our flawed existence and actions, amplifying it beyond our wildest imagination, but yet not thinking for the tiniest moment that you have the power to change the world.... knowing that every day you make a difference, but without ever truly understanding how or why.

Let's revel in those mysteries as I leave it there with you tonight...

The Wisdom of George Sheehan...

The music of a marathon is a powerful strain, one of those tunes of glory. It asks us to forsake pleasures, to discipline the body, to find courage, to renew faith and to become one's own person, utterly and completely.

Needing a bit of help?

Anyone looking for that extra bit of motivation as the New year really kicks in and the passion behind those resolutions start to die down ever so little... this is a fantastic piece

on how to ensure that a plan is put in place to support the achievement of those goals! It's about running, but the tips are easily modified to apply to almost any type of aim.

It's oh-so-simple and yet Ohhhh-so-hard!!!!!!!!!

A Singular Resounding YES!

This line came to me as I was running yesterday... and I have been using it endlessly, shamelessly. This is what I will wave madly in welcome of 2011 - a singular resounding YES!

YES to Running challenges aplenty... scary commitments made, I'm all signed up, so I just need to make it happen!
- I signed up for the LA Marathon in March, hoping to tag on my first full marathon and international running event onto the end of a business trip! I also have a backup/potential additional plan in the Sundown Marathon in Singapore in May. I want to ensure that I will manage at least one Full Marathon before mid year!
- I aim to also improve on my Half Marathon and 10km race times over the course of the year.

YES to staying healthy all round...
- With a short training cycle running up to LA, I need to balance up my focus on the finish with the need to make sure I stay well and injury-free... to keep my head about me as I push myself to train hard, but make the tough calls if and when I need to hold back. This is a wise lesson - I envy those who can keep going and never seem to hit their limits... I am still unfolding the layers of yoga wisdom - ambition with acceptance, effort with surrender...
- I will keep up with cross training at least 1-2 times per week, as well as stay diligent with stretching and foam rolling... I'll get my core/strength sessions in 2-3 times per week as well.
- Healthy eating and enough sleep is also priority. Luckily, the diet piece is usually manageable for me, although my sleep quality leaves some to be desired.

YES to keeping things simple... I have numerous other things floating about as I think about 2011... but then I realise that I can only do a few things to do them well. So this year, mindfulness and simplicity will be my only other (non-running) key theme...
- 10 minutes quiet time daily
- TV time will be kept to 5 hours or less per week
- 'Consume less'... simplicity in life for me means 'needing/wanting' less because I already have plenty. This means shopping less, wasting less, using less, but with mindfulness of abundance.

In some ways, I have become someone I never specifically aspired to be but I am glad I am slowly becoming - I stop myself in surprise every so often with the feelings of gratefulness and content and optimism that fill me. I honestly couldn't and wouldn't ask for a single little bit more... a truly blessed and happy space to be in. At this end of 2010, I give thanks.

Celebrations...

I've been surprisingly chilled out this week... haven't done much and haven't really fretted about that fact. I have a 'store' of desire to get out and run, but my body isn't quite ready I don't think.

Weds - 4km plus strength/core - was nice and easy, but my feet hurt just proximal to the balls of my feet, I imagine where a lot of tendons insert to my metatarsals?

Thurs - easy yoga

Friday - spin class - wow this was hard work! my AHR was 154, but taking away the warm up/cool down sections, I think I was averaging around 160 or 87% of MHR. Feet hurt and were crampy again, same area.

Will do an easy run this weekend and depending on how I feel, go for 1-1.5 hours. Can't wait!

Had a couple of Amazon deliveries this week. It's getting close to Christmas and I decided to start Christmas shopping (for myself, fancy that?!!) early! hehe.

In addition to a couple of books I picked up in the bookshop recently, I now have all these awaiting me (and it is all I can do to control myself and not attack them all at once!):

Dean Karnazes' Ultramarathon Man and 50-50

Pam Reed's The Extra Mile

Bart Yasso's My Life on the Run

Elaine St James' Living the Simple Life

Julia Glass' Widower's Tale (one of my favourite authors, Julia Glass - check out The Whole World Over and Three Junes!)

Pauline Chen's The Final Exam

I have the whole holiday season to revel in all that and get inspiration from some more vegetarian recipes (my neighbour just lent me Gourmet Vegetarian). I always think that my life is a story told in the books I read - I like how things are going right now!

Next week, I should get up to 2-3 runs, but will give myself another easy week since I'm going away for a long weekend anyway. After that, I should work back up to 30km pw and then build from there! Happy weekend now!