A really hard day...

Today, 42.2km is like a Himalayan summit entirely shrouded in cloud. I simply can not see it, nor do I imagine that I have it in me to get up there.

Today, I barely made it to base camp... and it was a battle.

At points, I wanted to stop and hit my legs in frustration. I was tired, sore, fed up of the damn hills that make up a good part of my long run. My legs were cursing at me, I was mentally throwing a few uncensored swear words back.

In moments of lucidity, I still had it in me to chant, "Go away, go away, my limiting thoughts... I love you still, I do, my poor body-in-training". Pitying my body helped with the blame/anger game going on.

I cannot say that I feel "better" for having completed my planned Long Run today. Oddly and disappointingly, I feel neither proud nor relieved nor satisfied. I edged ahead with the longest run I have ever done - somewhere between 21-23km (Garmin-Running Ahead), completed in 2:42+ (I don't know exactly how long I ran because I stopped my watch a few times to walk and forgot to restart it 2 times, so I 'lost' some time and mileage there).

Perhaps tomorrow, I shall be glad.... for now, I'm just looking forward to a good night's sleep. Who'd have know it could be so hard?